The Mortified Mommy and the Meltdown Multiples

June 23, 2008 § Leave a comment

“Ma’am, is there a problem in there?”

“No, they are tired and teething, thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

“No, I am poking them with pins and I’ll be ripping their toenails and eyelashes out in another minute! Really. They are fine. It is their nap time and they are just being fussy. Really. Everything is fine.”


So, out trip to Kohls today was a bit of a nightmare.

They did great. They were complete angels.


We got into the dressing room so mommy could try on a couple of tops.

Then it happened.

All hell broke loose.

Melissa melted down.

Red faced, breath holding, blood curdling screams. Loud screams. Inconsolable screams. The binky didn’t work. Mommy’s sunglasses didn’t work. Mommy’s keys didn’t work. Even Mommy’s cell phone didn’t work. She was having none of it. She just decided that she would meltdown and that was that. And it was nice enough to be one of the fitting rooms that are rather empty so her screams had a really nice echo to them.

Daniel just joined in because Melissa was doing in. We know who the Alpha is now. (HAHAHAHAHA)

I finally relented and just grabbed the shirts and left the fitting room. I walked up to a register with both babies completely freaking out. “Don’t you have any help with them?” “Oh yeah, the au pair is off this week…..she and the maid are on a cruise”. No, I don’t have any friggin’ help. Oh yeah, my husband, who works 10 + hours a day. “Don’t you have any family?” “Yeah, they are 6 hours away….do you think if I called my mom, she’d come?”. Just let me get out of the store so no one else has to go deaf.

Into the parking lot and into the car….and yes, they were asleep before we got out of the lot. Came home, and they slept for another 90 minutes.

Two of the shirts are WAY too low cut, even for me (and I am not exactly a shy person when it comes to cleavage). So, we shall have to return and revisit the fine people at Kohls and maybe be lucky enough to have to stand in line to return the shirts.


I made out like a bandit on kids clothes…jeans for $3….levis……I got 12 and 18 month sizes becuase God only knows how big these kids are going to be in the fall.

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