August 25, 2009 § 3 Comments
So, I sought out a job. I interviewed and was hired on the spot. It isn’t much. Working in the mailroom at a famous catalog company that sells a lot of “As Seen On TV” stuff. It is temporary. It is part time. My mother has agreed to watch the kids during the four hours I work Monday through Friday.
So, why am I not excited? Why do I want to call them and decline their offer (the day before I start)? Why am I doubting my abilities? Why am I convinced that something bad will happen?
I have asked friends (via facebook, of course) what they think and everyone is telling me to give it a try.
But I feel like I have so much on my plate now.
I am on a new medication on top of the pro.zac and we still don’t know how that is going to work. I am having good and “very” bad days. The kids are full on crazy most of the time. My house is like a 25 lb bag stuffed with 50 lbs of crap….and I am still giving stuff away on freecycle.org (including 2 double strollers this week alone).
Maybe it is because I have been out of work for more than two years. Maybe it is that I just needed to know that I “could” get a job.
I am so confused and don’t know what my next move should be. Do I have what it takes to work again and still try to raise my babies, keep my house clean, cook for all of us and keep my husband happy?
Any thoughts? Anyone still reading? I know, I am the worst blogger ever……