January 28, 2010 § Leave a comment

it is in the worst of times that we discover who our real friends really are.  Look around you, ask yourself, are these people really my friends?  Or are they friendly to me when it suits them or they need something from me?  This week has taught me that I was living under a false assumption that some people around me were not up to my standard of being called a real friend.  They are the ones who are the first to believe any BS they hear about you without even having the common courtesy to ask you to your face (or even pop you a text message) asking if it is true or not.  I am not a perfect person…not by a long shot.  But when I mess up, I own up to it.  I do not shirk away from the consequences.  My mistakes are the only thing that are really and truly mine alone.  And even when I mess up, I try very hard, not to lose the lesson.  Life is too short to allow people who are only in it for themselves to have free rent in my life.  I am done with them.  At the end of the day, I have to look at ME in the mirror and answer to God….not to them.  I know that I am speaking in very generalized terms here and that is because some people in real life may be offended if I actually got specific.  And I do not want to rock the boat or be the cause of ANYMORE drama around here.

Maybe I set my ideals for what a friendship is too high?  And if I am at fault for that, I can live with it.  Standards….it all about the standards…..even the double standards.

A recent comment was made on here….if you missed it….

Stay strong, we are all human and make mistakes; true friends stick around when the road gets bumpy to help you through it, usually they don’t cause the bumps.  Remember as one door closes a new door with a new opportunity opens.  Just as CAT says “there are greater ones out there to find.”
To my real friends, thank you.  And to the others…..I kind of like this take on it….

Don’t Badmouth
If you and your friend have had a falling out, you may want to “tell your side of the story” to the people she knows. But take the high road for your own sanity and for her dignity. If she has done something terrible, it’s okay to admit that to someone close to you, but don’t go on and on to mutual friends. It will only make you feel worse, and make you look bad besides.

Let Go of the “If”
Often a friendship ends over a specific reason. Such as: she didn’t support your choice of husband, she stole your boyfriend, she was a drama queen, or the two of you simply grew apart. Rather than rehash every past moment and argument, realize that for whatever reason the two of you just can’t be friends right now. Don’t analyze yourself (or her) to the point of making yourself crazy. Sometimes relationships change and end. It’s not fun, but it does happen. Some people are meant to be in your life for a short time. Appreciate the lessons you learned from this person and then silently wish them the best as you move on with your life.

Forgive Your Friend
Sometimes a friend doesn’t have to do anything that terrible, but the fact that you’re no longer pals may make you very upset. Harboring negative feelings about someone who isn’t even in your life anymore is useless. Rather, think of them in a positive light. They may not be in your life anymore, but wish them the best, even if you have to do it silently to yourself. Then put them out of your mind. Forgiving them in this manner will free you up to meet new friendships which may be even better than the last.

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